Insight:
John, the new plant manager, was under pressure to
get the plant back on track. When he didn't have
the financial figures he needed for key decisions, he
would
become frustrated and get them directly from one of
the accountants. The accountant was consistently
distraught after these "encounters" with John and
eventually initiated a cleanup conversation. I was
asked to
participate. After they sat down and successfully
setup the discussion, the following conversation
ensued:
Accountant: "Why are you always so furious at me?
I simply can't give you the numbers until we get all
the data."
John: "I'm not really mad at you. It's just frustrating
when I don't have the numbers that I need to make
decisions."
Accountant: "Well, the way you come into the office
and yell at me, it feels like I'm getting berated."
John: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how it was impacting
you. I just get frustrated, and I know it's not your
fault. I'll do my best to not come in upset."
Here's where the conversation would typically end.
Getting to the bottom of things often feels great.
Once everyone understands the different perceptions
of what happened, learned how they may have
contributed to the issue, and made some
commitments to avoid it in the future, people tend to
relax.
However, in this feel-good state, people often forget
a crucial last step: what will we do if this issue does
arise again? There is a tendency to think that
cleaning up the current issue will prevent it from
happening again. This is naive. We all have
patterns
that are hard to break, and we will likely fall into the
same trap over and over again.
Action:
When you are completing a cleanup conversation,
ensure that you agree to specific actions to deal
with similar breakdowns in the future. If you don't,
you may be setting yourself up for failure.
I asked, "What will happen if he does come in yelling
again?" The accountant suggested that if he ever
came in yelling, she would make a "timeout" symbol
with her hands. John agreed: "Yeah, that will remind
me of my agreement not to come in dumping my
upset on you." Determining how to deal with the
issue should it arise
again is an important part of a successful cleanup.
Over the last few articles, we discussed several
important
steps
of an effective cleanup conversation. These are
summarized below:
- Don't gossip! If you find yourself badmouthing a
teammate, it's your clue that it's time to clean up an
outstanding issue. (See
article)
- Set up the conversation by sharing your
commitment to the relationship and
your intent to resolve a concern. Invite them to
explore the issue with you. (See
article)
- Bring curiosity to the conversation. Ask yourself:
What is the other person's perspective? How did I
contribute to the issue? (See
article)
- Make requests and commitments to each other
that will support your work together in the future.
Agree to specific actions to deal with similar
breakdowns in the future.
- Before completing, reconfirm your support for the
other person and your commitment to a powerful
working relationship.
So, make sure you don't stop at step 3 when a
mutual understanding is reached and the
conversation is starting to feel good. Discuss what's
actually going to be different. What kind of
commitments can you make to each other? What
support might you offer or want? How will you deal
with the situation if and when it happens again?
Then, complete the conversation by reconfirming
your commitment to the relationship.
By setting up a process to manage future incidents,
you'll help minimize future tensions and more
successfully build solid working relationships of
mutual support.
